Ask for what you need & get what you want
Ooh, there must be something you need to know in order to get ahead. Some kind of feedback or perspective.
But, what is it?
Today, practice asking questions; questions that can give you:
invaluable insight into blind spots
opportunities for improvement
access to resources and more.
That’s the power of feedback and feedforward! And, remember this:
When you learn how to ask the right questions to get amazing insight, you also earn the right to give amazing feedback in return.
Here’s 2 things to remember when you ask for feedback.
Ask for information, not opinions.
Seek clarity, not debate.
That first point means - stay specific and objective. Seek information, not confirmation.
Ask: What outcomes do you see happening as a result of my contributions to this team?
NOT: How do you feel I’ve been performing?
Ask: What negative impact do you see as a risk of proceeding with this plan?
NOT: What bothers you most about this idea?
When we’re seeking feedback, we should be seeking objective data points; clarity based on evidence…not opinions.
Opinions are malleable, flexible and they can be easily changed.
Data is data. It’s evidential and not as easily challenged.
Second point: say “thanks” when someone offers you feedback that YOU asked for. And you don’t need to say much more than that…unless you have a genuinely objective followup question. When someone offers authentic and objective feedback - that we’ve either asked for or granted permission to hear - it is not time for a debate or argument - even if their feedback is vague, unhelpful or hurts your feelings. You asked the question; take the answer and thank them. If need be, ask a better question to get more helpful feedback next time.
Pro Tip: If you can, write down your feedback questions in advance of asking them.
A fellow coach and friend once said,
“Ink makes you think.”
They were right! Spending 5 minutes writing down your feedback questions can save you time later AND get you the right feedback you need to impact your outcomes in the right way.
AND - When you’re ready, ask for feedforward - which means replacing positive or negative feedback with future oriented solutions. That means, in the simplest terms, tell others where you aim to go or what you hope to achieve and then ask them how they advise you to get there. This method of gaining insight is known as feedforward…for more information on the concept and its originator, look it up.
Alright, my friend - go ask some questions! To be continued…
♥
Andrea